The Twelve Days of Fedmas 2015

Despite all of the slings and arrows directed at the federal workforce, America’s public servants go to work every day to serve the American people, and most of them do it very well. Thanks to each and every one of you, and a Happy Hanukkah (belated), Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanzaa and Happy Holidays to Federal employees, retirees and their families everywhere!

Here is my own version of the Twelve Days of Christmas, written in 2014, but updated with even better gifts for 2015….

 

On the first day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
A new boss who really hates me

On the second day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the third day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the fourth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the fifth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
A one percent raise
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the sixth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Six weeks delaying
A one percent raise
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the seventh day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Seven nonsense hearings
Six weeks delaying
A one percent raise
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the eigth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Eight survey shockers
Seven nonsense hearings
Six weeks delaying
A one percent raise
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the ninth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Nine faint praises
Eight survey shockers
Seven nonsense hearings
Six weeks delaying
A one percent raise
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the tenth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Ten Debates a-boring
Nine faint praises
Eight survey shockers
Seven nonsense hearings
Six weeks delaying
A one percent raise
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the eleventh day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Eleven pols a-preening
Ten Debates a-boring
Nine faint praises
Eight survey shockers
Seven nonsense hearings
Six weeks delaying
A one percent raise
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me

On the twelfth day of Fedmas, the government gave to me
Twelve investigations
Eleven pols a-preening
Ten Debates a-boring
Nine faint praises
Eight survey shockers
Seven nonsense hearings
Six weeks delaying
A one percent raise
Four data breaches
Three fed bashes
Too little love, and
And a new boss who really hates me